Up and down.

My weight as always been an issue for me. Always. I've always wanted to be one of those girls who can get anything and stay little, but that isn't the case with me. 

I eat, I gain. 

I hate how I look, I look in the mirror and want nothing more then to lose weight. I hate looking at myself.

I use to have some what of a eating disorder. Till I got caught. I wish I didn't, because I was small then and getting smaller and it was wonderful. 

Eating whatever I wanted and staying little was AMAZING. And addicting. It was hard to stop and I miss it. It made me feel good, and now I hate dressing up just because I hate how fat I feel. 

Yoga pants are my favorite because you can't really tell how big I look and they're super comfy. I'm not huge but I'm at the hugest I've been. And it's awful. 

But I will lose weight, I'm going to start going running again and eat more healthy and less.

I'm determined.